How to spend your afterlife
by SailorAhoge
Summary: I wasn't ready to meet my Maker. But apparently My Maker wasn't prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me either. (Reincarnation SI AU - rating may change)
1. Prologue

**How to spend your afterlife (HTSYAL)**

 **Prologue**

My last memory was of two pale limbs reaching from both sides of a centre light, blocking it out. They came to reach around my body and encase me in what could only be described as a protective embrace. My mind barely had enough time to register the tightening of the arms around me as I was pushed into a cushioned chest. With what I now know was my final breath, I could smell the person's - no doubt expensive - perfume. Still, it did nothing to hide her familiar scent; like freshly laundered sheets and vanilla. The thought was short-lived however, and was replaced with instinctual panic at my inevitable suffocation. My worries proved useless when the moment was shattered by an impossibly loud screech.

I wasn't visited by a corpse in a black robe nor a beautiful face to comfort me in my journey of acceptance. There wasn't an ethereal light to lead me to paradise or even a haunting crimson to pull me down. There was only a deafening silence that you couldn't escape from. You had no legs to run with, no eyes to open, no hands to cradle your ears, no mouth nor tongue to scream with. Just a terrifying blankness that neither black nor white could describe. Though it was painfully unnoticeable, this place seemed governed by the laws of time as eventually, after what seemed an eternity, it came to an end.

The first thing that told me something was different was the colour. No longer was I surrounded by that horrific nothingness, but pitch black. I was paralysed, and my eyes refused to open, but just knowing that I even had limbs relieved me more than anything else. Nevertheless, holding onto a thought was like trying to catch water from a faucet over a furnace. Pointless and frustrating, if one could even form a thought long enough to feel the emotion. Still, my blinking consciousness and the black balloon I was enveloped in was oddly comforting and helped dull my flustered instincts that begged me to remember. But no matter how I struggled to reach the thin threads of my memories, I couldn't remember anything – all my memories up until the arms reaching towards me were empty. All I knew was that this strange cocoon of warmth was safe and I wasn't about to abandon it for anything.  
If there was an omnipotent being that ruled us, they must have had something against me because before long I was subjected to the long forgotten feeling of suffocation. The warmth I relaxed in rapidly poured out like someone had taken a big pin and popped my personal bubble. Just as quickly it was replaced with bitterly cold air and the walls of my bubble crashed into me, forcing me out. My brain was deciding which of my recallable memories I hated more when my eyelids burned and I felt the atmosphere change.  
Everything was so horribly different from my lovely cocoon, I screamed and wailed. What shocked me even more than my vocal cords working was that I could hear the sounds around me. That brief surprise didn't deter my wailing however, even as I was held and delicately wiped and wrapped. I felt myself passed carefully to weak but eagerly groping hands, just able to hear incoherent murmurs over my own crying. I heard a laugh of adoration strangled by exhaustion as gentle arms cuddled me close to a soft chest. I couldn't open my eyes, the voice and scent were unfamiliar, and yet something ignited in my bones. A single word swept over my stormy mind, clearing it and taking root. No matter the world, form or time, it was the embrace of someone that you should never take for granted. It was a mother. _My_ mother.

During what must have been at least a day or so of sleeping, memories began to slowly trickle back into my mind. Though fragmented and hazy, I grew aware of my, _ahem_ , "unique" situation. It seemed there really was something after death but it did little to comfort me. I rejected the idea of opening my eyes, for fear it would bring me back to the silent tomb of death. It was simple logic, opening my eyes would wake me from this dream and I wasn't sure if I wanted that.

Despite my earlier stubbornness, boredom won out. There was literally nothing to do after I realised I was a baby again. My brain was no doubt swiftly producing neurons, but my motor functions were undeveloped and synaptic connections had not yet been made for me to move my limbs. So all I could really do was sleep, and though my constant tiredness helped me, the idleness soon got to me.

With reluctance that admittedly accompanied curiosity, I slowly opened my eyes. It took a few tries really, as I had to keep shutting them from the annoyingly bright light that filled the room. Slowly but surely, I was able to lift my eyelids open and gaze at the cream ceiling above me. With a shift of my adjusting eyes, I was able to make out distant cracks in the corners of the roof and the walls of a yellow crib surrounding me. I saw the outline of a teddy bear on a side table to my right and even the room's doorway. The door was left open but unable to even move my head, I could not see what lay outside. From my position there wasn't much to look at and I felt the feeling of boredom creep back in.

 _Right. Well only one thing to do then. Summon the parents._

With the only weapon at my disposal, I scrunched my eyes and began _Operation: Cry until mystery parents hear me and have to come in_. As my wailing filled the silence of the house, I also silently noted to come up with better names for future operations. I mean really, who did I think I was?

 _It was uncreative and elementary, like a child's. A babies in fact!_

 _…Huh, funny about that. Still, I should rename it to something brighter, snazzier, and cooler! Like lure the mysterious-_

My plans, very important plans I might add, were interrupted by the hasty patter of feet rushing towards my room. Realising my closed eyes would naturally block the view of the people about to enter, I managed to rein in my tears but continued my attention seeking whine.

Only seconds after I had put my plan into motion my bedroom door swung open and a couple all but sprinted in. I sure as hell had not expected such an immediate reaction and my crying was cut short with a surprised gurgle. My reaction didn't slow them down however and the two figures ran to my side without hesitation.

With a close view, albeit unclear from my underdeveloped vision, I saw my parent's faces in detail. My mother and father were in no way tall, though they still towered over my tiny form. My mother had a soft face like a doll, dark eyes, and creamy skin that said she didn't see the sun much. Her hair was the colour of coal; unkempt but as graceful as a waterfall, cascading over her shoulders and reaching down well past her waist. My father's colours were a stark contrast, he sported long bleached hair tied back into a ponytail and caring artic blue eyes that seemed to unlock your secrets just by looking into them.

 _Holy mongrel my mother has the face of an angel and my father has a face prettier than I probably do._

 _…and I'm not sure how I feel about that._

"What's wrong hone-?" My mother began to pose what I guessed was a question but didn't finish when her eyes centred on my face. Her eyes bulged and her hands flew to cover her mouth stifling a laugh. My face contorted from bafflement to confusion.

 _What is she laughing about?_

Apparently my father also found the same thing humorous as he let out the manliest giggle I had ever heard. How does one even manage to sound manly as they giggle?!

 _Yet here stands the proof of it. And I'm related to it._ I thought perplexed. My expression must have grown more confused because both began laughing openly and I finally caught on that they were laughing about my face.

 _Wow rude._

My mum reached down to lightly poke my cheek in delight and remarked with unconcealed amusement, "Her cheeks are soft like dough and almost as big as an Akimichi's!" I made a sound as close as I could to a dignified snort as my dad agreed heartily.

 _Hey,_ you _gave birth to me lady._ I thought with no real bitterness to it as they cooed over me. Still, something about her comment made me stop. I mean, I could live with having chubby cheeks, I was a newborn for God's sake, but what had she compared them too?

 _An.. Akimi..Aki….Akimichi? Why does that sound so familiar? Like, I remember heari- Oh mY GOD._

My parent's attention turned to concern when I made a sound akin to choking as I reminisced on my mother's words. I tried to reach to my mother but I only managed to twitch my fingers frantically while looking expectantly at her. My actions simply rendered her face into blank confusion and I felt frustration seep into my body as my eyes welled up with tears. Before my mother could decipher my frenzied movements, my father scooped me up and held me close to his chest.

My distress melted away as quickly as it had appeared and I heard my mother sigh with relief. Feeling secure in his arms, a warm memory from my past life bubble just below my conscious. Deep enough that I could not reach it, but shallow enough that I could understand its core significance. With a satisfied giggle I hooked my small and weak fingers on his lavender shirt and tugged as hard as I could for him to lower his head. Though it probably had the strength of a grasshopper, my father's eye twinkled knowingly and he gently lifted me higher while bringing his face closer.  
 _This man knows his stuff!_ I thought impressed and excited as the details of his kind face became completely clear. My mother stood to his side, an affectionate expression adorning her features as she watched our interaction.

With a determined huff I set about studying every inch of his face, clenching tighter with every confirmation. That hair _colour_ , that hair _style_ and those icy blue eyes that seemed to read your _mind_. There was no escaping it. We have a Yamanaka in the house.

I practically exploded into a fit of barely formed giggles and twitching fingers. It must have been quite an extraordinary and no doubt weird sight to witness but my parents just laughed along with me endearingly. I didn't care though, even if I looked the possibly mad while I laughed hysterically, It was worth it.  
I was alive.  
 _AGAIN.  
_ And it was bloody fantastic.

* * *

 **Authors Note:  
First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS! It means so much to have someone bother to read my writing!  
If it wasn't clear, this is my first time writing fanfiction. Though I'm no stranger to reading it haha. Still, I had a lot of issues with getting this out because of formatting and me just having no idea how to publish stuff on FF.  
I'm counting this as an AU because my character will have an effect on events and there will be interactions with cannon characters as well. Still, I don't plan anything drastic. ALSO, This is not an INO INSERT FIC! So far, I have no pairings planned either, but there will be eventually.**

 **Again, Thanks for reading!**

 **Word count- 1861**


	2. Chapter 1

**How to spend your afterlife (HTSYAL)**

 **Authors Note:  
** Thanks again for reading! I was so shocked to get any response at all, it really brightened my day!  
Just one thing before I kick this chapter off, I named Ino's mother Haruka because its never mentioned in the manga or anime. I did base her appearance off the anime though. This chapter was surprisingly hard to write, but next chapter will be the real starter. The prologue and this one was mainly to just set a baseline for details like family. Next chapter is a time skip (a small one) and we'll see some proper interaction!  
Thanks again for reading!

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

With a bored sigh, that sounded more like a bubbly huff, I hit the toys hanging above me. They clashed with each other and the small bells inside them rang throughout the room. It wasn't a particularly pleasant sound and I had quickly grown tired of it. However, baby toys are limited and well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. To make the time go quicker I had even tried to come up with songs or beats but my hands were still uncoordinated at best and I just sounded like a crazy baby that liked her bells too much.

 _Oh well. It's not like you can really make music with the sound of plastic slapping plastic and cheap bells being thrown around._

I had tried to tell myself that art was subjective and beauty in the eye of the beholder but there just simply wasn't any to be found in my little project.

Despite the racket I was making, my mother was doing well in ignoring me. Well, she wasn't exactly _ignoring_ me but rather chatting excitedly on the phone to someone in the next room. Though she wasn't far away, the walls muffled her speech and I had long since given up trying to eavesdrop. I contemplated crying to get some attention, a habit I had fallen into, but I knew I would feel bad interrupting her conversation. I had accepted earlier on that if I wanted to stay sane in this tiny, unmoveable prison then lowering myself to a baby's behaviour was necessary. Besides, technically I _was_ acting my age. Just not my ….mental age.

A few weeks into my new life I caught on to some facts about my parents. Number one, neither were ninja despite their knowledge of chakra. I found this out because of my mother's habit of summoning a clone to help her with chores and her _"secret"_ kunai stashes. Retired was the only way I could think to describe them. Number two was that my dad's job held him back late and he came home stressed and with a heaviness to his eyes. Conclusion; my dad's seen some shit. Maybe it was because I was only a baby, but my parents never made any effort to introduce me to the world of ninjas. No weapon mobile hanging above my head, no chakra training and they would even avoid talking about the subject while around me. That just made me even more curious about the unseen world. Like hell, who wouldn't want to be a freaking ninja?

Which brought me to my current challenge. Did I want to change the future of the Naruto world? Did I even own the right to do that? I mean, it all works out in the end, right? People are lost on the way, people who didn't deserve to die, but it was all for the best. …Right? Had I been sent here to change what happens? Hell, I didn't even know what generation I had been born into. What if everything had already happened?

I had been musing for so long that I didn't notice I had fallen asleep. At first I didn't notice hands scooping me up from the floor but the familiar warmth had me stirring awake. I opened my eyes to find my mother smiling mischievously down at me.

 _Oh boy that cannot be a good sign._

I had learnt that whenever my mother smiled at me like that it meant she was going to try something new with me. In the beginning this excited me but after being forced to take uncomfortable bathes, listening to her repeat the abc's a thousand times and be forced to sit through a marathon of bad toddler shows I realised it was a sign of danger.

 _Oh Gods no, if I have to hear another ninja sing about a mouse running up a clock I'm going t-_

My threat was cut short when my mother started to skip- _skip_ \- to the door.  
"I think it's about time we introduce you to the rest of your family!" she said cheerfully stopping at the door. She wrapped me up in my blanket leaving me feeling like a trapped animal and very confused.

Burrito-baby in hand and purse in the other, we locked the house and arrived on the main street in minutes. My brain was assaulted with a huge variety of senses. I could smell the cooking octopus from a street vendor, feel the gentle heat of the blaring sun and hear the lively chatter of people all around me. With the restriction of the comfy prison I was wrapped in, I was only able to see what was directly in front of me and to the right of my mother. Still, the diversity of the colours hit me hard and I felt my eyes widen with a mix of surprise and wonder. With a squeal of pure enchantment I tried to take in everything that was rushing past me. Seeing, my look of utter marvel at the simple things around me, my mother slowed down her pace to a relaxed stroll. With the things surrounding us a little less of a blur, I let out a gasp at their details. Colourful people dressed in silks, uniform, and casual dress weaved around us like a river full of rainbows. People of all different sizes, some grumpy, some enjoying the weather, some reprimanding naughty children and some looking like they had just had the best day of their life. I sure as hell knew this was my best day ever.

* * *

By the time we arrived at our destination, my eyes had grown red and looked ready to fall out from holding them open too long.

"Right on time." My mother gave a satisfied nod as she checked her watch. I raised my weary head to the shops purple sign. The symbols caused memories to stir just below the surface of my mind but it was like reaching for water below a frozen lake. You needed weight or at least a pickaxe to get below it, which the current me didn't possesses either of. Nevertheless, the flowers decorating it made it easy to guess. Mother and child-burrito stood in front of a newly built flower shop with fresh flowers lining his golden walls. Villagers passing by couldn't help but stop and observe the abundance of beauty and nature practically spilling out of the shop. With the confidence that confirmed my suspicions that this was our final stop, my mother strolled in and right up to the counter.

Once again my poor nose was attacked by new and intriguing smells that caused me to sneeze adorably. Though really, it was hard not to be lovable while you were a clueless baby. My sneeze alerted the brunette behind the counter and she looked up to see her new arrivals. A soft smile graced her motherly features and she pushed the flower she had been arranging to the side to get a better look at us.

"Oh Inami, good afternoon. You're looking well." My mother, Inami, positively beamed at her sweet greeting and I could practically feel her heart swell with excitement.

"It's been too long Haruka!" Inami greeted back. The woman Haruka, laughed good naturedly and agreed. She had long brown hair tied up into a classy bun that framed a regal face. A chat instantly sprang up between the two and I went unnoticed for a good few minutes.

I suppose I shouldn't have been offended by my mother getting distracted with a friend but I felt a childish jealousy bubble up. This little adventure had been fun but what was the point of bringing me if you were just going to forget about me.

 _I'm adorable woman, brag about me or something!_

With a horrible attempt at a raspberry I successfully brought their attention back on me. Ignoring the fact my raspberry was pathetic and I was a shame to all trouble-making children, I let my actions sink in.

 _3…2…1…and blast off._

With thrilled shrieks of delight they both begun cooing over me and taking it in turns to list different ways to describe cute. Feeling smugger about my plan working than actually being called cute I huffed contentedly.

"Oh just look at her cheeks!" Haruka said reaching down to my face.

 _Oh Gods here we go again. Just do it. Get it out of your system._

Just like I predicted, her hands tugged, poked and prodded my cheeks while laughing about the expressions I made in silent acceptance. I was seriously starting to get worried about my cheeks. Yes I was a baby, but with the level of excitement adults gained while looking at my cheeks I was starting to wonder just how big these things were.

My mother just laughed along proudly while mercilessly subjecting my cheeks to her friend's playful tugs. When she was finally finished with my cheeks, they were sore and I wanted nothing more than to go home and massage them. Alas, we were not finished here.

"So where's your little angel?" Inami questioned not bothering to hide her excitement. As if jolted awake, Haruka let an eager smile spread across her regal features.

"She's taking her afternoon nap but," She glanced at the clock behind her, "She should be just about to wake up. Wait here, I'll be but a moment." She winked at Inami and gave me a small wave as she spun elegantly around and disappeared behind a door to her left.

Only seconds after she left we heard a small whine and some gentle hushing before her footsteps started back into our direction. Soon she emerged with a bundle blankets and some soft looking blonde hair peeking out the top of it. I made a sound of stunned excitement, swivelling my head to try and get a better look. Chuckling at my interest Haruka moved closer so that my face and the bundle were inches away.

I held my breath as a pale face reluctantly emerged from her cocoon. Two misty blue eyes settled on my gaping face and she pouted in confusion. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and the girl across from stared at me disapprovingly.

 _I know that face! That haughty attitude!_

I began to wriggle my body roughly and startled my mother who almost dropped me in surprise. With a burst of effort and a sound of triumph, I wrestled my left hand free and reached over to blonde across from me and …

 _Pap_

Everyone seemed to freeze as my hand landed softly on the blonde's forehead who stiffened at my advance. She looked from the pudgy baby-hand on her forehead to the stern face I was shooting back at her.

 _You will have to deal with some lazy people in your life. Stay strong young grasshopper._

A look of deep understanding passed between us and an eternal bond over future hate over laziness was born. It was beautiful. Her tongue poking outside her mouth with effort, she too untangled her arm from the mass of blankets she was enveloped in. With a determined look on her face, she reached her chubby little arm over the side to return the gesture with a level of grace no one year old should be capable of.

 _Pap_

Sparkles in our eyes we broke away from each other with content smiles on our faces.

 _I'm not alone. Someone will be there to help me yell at people. The world is a beautiful place._

When I looked up at my mother's face though I almost choked on my spit. Both she and Haruka had their mouths hanging open as they stared down at us. There was no doubt in my mind they were puzzling over what they had just witnessed transpire.

 _I don't blame you mother. No mere mortal could have understood what had just transpired. Don't feel bad._ I snorted in amusement. This seemed to shake them out of there trance and with flustered laughs they tried to brush the whole experience off.

"Oh my, well. It seem they're…" Haruka started before trailing off helplessly.

"…Getting along already!" My mother finished, seeing as there was a lack of a better word. Haruka almost jumped at the suggestion, relief that Inami was okay with overlooking the weird event. Putting the event behind her remarkably fast my mother started the real introductions. I was really only half-listening seeing as I already knew the two people in front of me but something in her words caught my attention.

"This is Haruka Yamanaka and her gorgeous daughter, Ino Yamanaka!" My mother said lifting me slightly higher so that I may seem both of them. In a voice mimicking mine she continued,

"Hi Ino! My names Ruka Kurogane! I hope we can be _best_ friends!" My face scrunched up in unconcealed offence as our parents laughed at my mother's poor imitation.

 _I will not sound like that._ I though probably a little too intensely. However, my mother's words hit me as I sulked.

 _Ruka Kurogane._ My face softened to bafflement as I realised that, until now I hadn't paid attention enough to even hear my name. And let me tell you, it was _surreal._ I couldn't remember what I had been called in my previous life, only that it certainly wasn't this.

 _So… Which one was the real me?_ I questioned as I gazed up at my mothers face. Neither had noticed my reaction and the subject had switched to some mundane mother talk. In fact, the way they leaned closer, covered their mouths, eyes darting around suspiciously, you could assume they were gossiping.

 _Great, here I am contemplating my existence and mother is having a mothers club. They're probably gossiping about what the letterman did with the pretty tailor. What did he do? He probably gave her the usual daily paper. Like y'know, his_ job. _  
Soooooooo scandalous._

I gave a _dignified, dignified I say,_ gurgle and looked over to see two teal irises watching me with a knowing look. The kind of look my father gives me when I make some random sounds and gesture wildly and yet he still knows exactly what I want. The Hyuuga's may have the Byakugan, the Uchiha their fancy Sharigan, but damn these Yamanaka's have something else entirely. Right now Ino was looking at me like she could read my every thought through my expression. Her lips were curved into what I could only describe as a failed attempt at a smirk. All the same, it was an expression that said she had dealt with this many times before and she could sympathize.

 _I always knew I liked Ino. Maybe even enough to stay friends with her through the Sasuke phase. …Maybe._

Ino settled back into her mother's arms with a sigh and I was left to my own devices once again. With nothing better to do, I looked around the shop I was in. There was so much flowers that you could imagine it wasn't a room full of flowers but instead a room built around hanging flowers. There was a breathtaking amount of colours mixing and clashing with each other and the smell was an intoxicating combination of sweet and fresh.

But the smell was so _strong._ In fact, the scent did more than tickle my nose, but rather _molested_ it. I felt my muscles stiffen, my breath hitch and I swear, I went blind for a second. All the while I silently suffocated, I felt terror and dread practically burn in my bones. And here I thought dyingwould be the most horrible experience. But this sure as hell proved me wrong.

With horrible certainty, for a moment I felt a demon rip at my insides trying to get out in the form of liquid sandpaper through my nose. It was the most painful sneeze I had ever had the unfortunate luck of experiencing.

All heads whipped to me in complete astonishment as I blinked blearily in the aftermath.

 _Was the room spinning? Yes. It was definitely spinning._

Worry written all over her face, Inami pulled me closer. The Yamanaka's peered over concerned but weren't sure if it was safe to get closer – Not that I could really blame them of course. I felt thoroughly violated from that sneeze.

"Gosh, honey are you okay?!" My mother asked, anxiety lacing her tone. I know she wasn't expecting a comprehensible response, but I gave it a try anyway. Naturally it came out more like a pained squeak than anything remotely intelligible, but it was enough for her anyway.

"I think," Haruka started looking unsure, but becoming more confident as she looks from the flowers to me.

"I think she's allergic to flowers." The statement had my mother nodding in agreement, me wailing and Ino giggling hysterically.

 _I, a future ninja, was allergic to flowers. Could this day get any worse?!_

* * *

So, in hindsight, you should never challenge an omnipotent being. It's a very bad idea because they will prove you wrong. And boy did this one prove me very, _very_ wrong.


	3. Chapter 2

**(I'm so sorry for how late this chapter is! Warnings for really, _really_ bad puns. You have been warned.)**

 **Chapter 2**

See, omnipotent beings are like that annoying friend no one wants to hang out with because they question everything you say; do not know the meaning of exaggeration or sarcasm and will fight you for anything.

So basically you're not friends. They hate you. And you really, _really_ , shouldn't give them any chance to prove you wrong. As a veteran of bad decisions, both in the last life and probably in the future of this one, I can guarantee it's a bad idea.

* * *

Sensing it would probably be bad to linger in a shop filled with the source of my newly-discovered allergies, my mother brought us back onto the main street. She was rocking me soothingly and her arms felt like comfortable clouds drifting across the sky. I felt much better after the attack on my nose was finished and was excited for this expedition to be over despite the friendship I had gained. Finding you're allergic to one of the prettiest things in the world really kills the mood. Before long, my eyes had fallen closed and I accepted the fact I wouldn't be able to absorb everything around me while I was recovering from a battle wound.

Feeling my mother stop, yet being surrounded by noise and smell most certainly not of my home, I peeked my eyes open in curiosity. Facing upwards earnt me a view of my mother's chin and a wood ceiling. As interesting as the brown wood and chin was above me, I swivelled around in my cocoon to take in the setting. We were in a bustling tea house with friendly waitresses hurrying around, sweet smells wafting from the kitchens and grandparents sipping away at tea they hadn't realised was already finished. It was an oddly welcoming place, what with all its diverse guests and delicious looking candy. Kind of reminded me of a rich grandmas 50th.

My mother had begun to seat herself at a table near the back and was readjusting me in her arms when a looming figure came into view.

"Oh just look at those round cheeks!" A lady in her forties all but squealed above us. And yet once again, my concern for the state of my cheeks heightened dramatically. My mother was startled and I winced in pain at the screechy voice. As if she were a wolf howling to her pack, a group of ladies the same age ambled towards us in a slightly terrifying frenzy. I gurgled panicked, and looked up to my mother to attempt to send her a message of immediate evasive manoeuvre, but my mother's expression cut my plans short. While she had been surprised at first, her mouth was quickly forming into an almost smug grin.

"Which ones?" She asked nonchalantly as she expertly flipped me over to show off my tiny backside snuggled into a blue cotton onesie.

 _Mother no._

The pack of women cackled wildly and circled our table as I found myself once again on my back, trapped in my blanket burrito once more and surrounded by woman with a tendency for bad jokes and gossip.

"Honey, they're bigger than mine!" A senile looking one said. They exploded in laughter again as I cringed and groaned. This was bad. Really bad. If only someone could step in and jus-

"May I be so bold as to join in with you damsels?" a deep voice caught everyone's attention before more atrocities could be committed. All eyes traced to the lean figure standing in a mockingly proper fashion behind my mother. My mother's eyes lit up with mirth but before she could greet him, a hyena answered his question.

"You can join me tonight, if you'd like." She forced an eyelid covered in cheap make up to wink, succeeding to make it look much harder than it should be. The women broke into fits of giggles and phrases like 'Oh no you didn't' while the new arrival chuckled along. If my body was capable, I promise you I would have face palmed. I managed a cringe instead but quickly replaced it with a look of awe as the stranger sat in the seat across from us. The hyenas spied an attractive young waiter passing by and rapidly changed their targets, their cackles taking a moment to fade away. My mother paid them polite goodbyes but the man in front of me held my full attention. It became immediately obvious who this man was with his familiar black curls and dark eyes full of vitality. For a moment his gaze locked onto mine and I could have sworn I was looking into the eyes of a tiger.

Crinkling his sharp eyes with a toothy smile he leaned forward. My instincts had me almost moving back but his eyes held me in place.

"Nice to meet you little lion!" His gaze turned soft and friendly, the furnace in his eyes lowering to a pleasant camp fire. My mother scoffed at his pet name while I simply blinked at him.

"Your choice in names is as poor as ever Mamoru. How can I trust you to name my future niece or nephew?" He pouted childishly at my mother's comments but there was a spark of challenge in his eyes. "Besides my Ruka's a princess- a lover not a fighter." Mum declared haughtily. I turned to look at my mum questioningly while Mamoru snorted and replied,

"A princess will have to toughen up if she wants to become a ninja." He laughed heartily. His smile was infectious and I made a few babbling sounds akin to laughter. Still, my mother was apparently immune to the jolly air he possessed as I felt her tighten her arms around me.

"Ruka won't be on a battlefield." She said decisively as I shifted my gaze back up to her. What could she mean I wouldn't be on a battlefield? It's hardly something a ninja, even a medic nin, can avoid. It seems my uncle shared my confusion as he went on to ask his sister how that was possible.

"It's simple, Mamoru. She won't become a ninja," Her voice didn't shake but it had lost a bit of its confidence. My eyes bulged and I snapped them, or rather rolled them – I couldn't move my neck _that_ well yet – back to my mother. I was once again rewarded with a marvellous view of her chin that she held remarkably steady considering she seemed almost unsure of her early declaration. Mamoru kept the bafflement on his face out of his voice as he prompted her for the specifics.

"Saito and I have made the decision together that we won't bring Ruka into _that_ world. She won't be attending the Academy." She kept her voice firm even if she looked uncomfortable talking about the subject. Mamoru still looked taken aback by her words but seeing the growing tension in her eyes, wisely backed off and changed the subject.

"Well Matches it is then. She seems fiery," He said casually looking back at me with none of his earlier liveliness.

"I bet she'd make mean fried squid." He continued, adding an afterthought distractedly. "Or you know, a florist." At his last comment my mum began to laugh and told him the previous events of our outing. He blinked as he took it in and that familiar smirk found its way back across his face.

"Well, hey. No loss there; if she's anything like you she'd probably manage to set the place on fire while trying to prune a plant or two." His eyes sparkled mischievously, daring her to respond to his taunt. I watched my mother's eyes light up with relief and their banter picked up.

With the tense situation diffused, the two adults chatted happily as if nothing happened. They ordered some tea and birthday parties were planned. My cheeks burned and I felt my tiny fingers clench into a fist. It was childish to sulk like this, but not being able to even protest to the life my parents were choosing for me made me incredibly frustrated. I hated the idea that I wasn't going to live my life to fullest in this foreign world. I have an opportunity to become a ninja! _A goddamn frickin ninja!_ And yet, my parents weren't even going to give me the chance to prove myself! I don't remember being very athletic or fit in my last life, but I never particularly had any motivation to be. Now, I had the chance to start from a completely clean slate and begin training myself early. With two ninjas for parents, surely I could expect some kind of decent build, right? Hell, I might even turn out to be buff! I could have a wrestlers build but sell ice cream to small children that would keep asking me if I was an ogre! I don't want to frighten small children, _I don't want that kind of life!_

 _I could be a ninja and you want me to be a food vendor?!_

With an indignant grunt and an irritated squirm, I reminded my mother I had never been out of the house for this long. Apologising to her brother and readjusting me, we bid our farewells. Before we did however, Mum let Mamoru cradle me. His arms were muscly and I nestled into his the crooks of his arms comfortably. His eyes were bright with amusement and helped melt some of my anger away. I gurgled something on the intended lines of " _Your cool_ " and he just chuckled at my baby antics. As a goodbye he reached his free arm over to me and with his index finger bopped my nose.

"Boop," He said playfully as mum cooed at my crossed eyes. Before he could pull his finger away, my hand expertly wound its way out of the folds of my burrito and grabbed his finger. I clutched his finger as tight as I could and I saw his eyes flash back to a tigers. He smiled, his eyes still predatory but with a spark of pride rippling in them.

"I'll see you next time, Matches." He reassured me with a wink. Reluctantly I let his finger loose when he gently tugged it back. I watched him with my head on my mums shoulder as we walked away and I saw his features mould back into a friendly passer-by. As a woman in a red apron dragged a crying toddler by, I lost sight of him for a second and when I looked again, he was gone.

 _Damn Ninjas._

* * *

I needn't bother you with most of the mundane details of my development into a child. Though really, the teething stage was not incredibly mundane but painful and awful and something I'm glad I didn't remember the first time around. Learning how to walk was horribly complicated as well, what with none of your limbs responding properly to you yet. But don't get me started on the ordeal of learning how to go to the toilet again. Controlling the bladder of infant is nigh impossible, no matter how many years you spent in full control of it in the last life. It was a deeply traumatic experience. So when I say I don't need to tell you the mundane details of my life, I mean I don't want to tell anyone of the embarrassing and haunting experience of early human development.

I'll add some things that kept the next 3 very boring years of my life bearable with you. I finally got to see myself in the mirror and study my new appearance. My hair wasn't a fast grower so I just had tufts of hair my mother attempted to weave ribbons in for at least the first year or so of my life. It was the colour of bleached sand like my fathers, curled and untamed like my mother's accompanied by two big ol' black jewels for eyes. They were round and glossy and I'll be damned if I'm not going to use them to my advantage.

And then there were my cheeks. Oh, my _cheeks_. I squeaked horrendously when my mum first started dressing me in front of mirrors. If I was an animal, I would have been a blowfish. Until I was 3 years old, my cheeks were only matched by Akimichi clan members. No other toddler could hold a candle to my massively unproportioned cheeks. And yet, adults such as my parents went on too coo, tug, prod and stretch my cheeks without giving a single thought to see a doctor.

I thankfully didn't struggle with speaking or walking but learning how to write again was a real challenge. Weirdly, I didn't have trouble understanding the words of people talking around me, but learning kanji was annoying. They were all scribbly and complicated and my mind wasn't fresh and empty but hardwired to something completely different. It made things super complicated to say the least and neither of my parents could figure out why I was having such trouble with simple writing and reading when I could speak perfectly well. Or at least, as well as a toddler could speak – which wasn't saying much, mostly just basic sentences and the occasional unprompted burst of laughter. Still, it was a godsend my father didn't try poking around my head to find if it was a psychological issue. That was also surprising as well, seeing as I found out eventually my father Saito was a retired intelligence nin now working as a psychologist. I didn't see any developmental psychologists or even have any normal psychologists look at me. I think it was a matter of pride to the man – he, an intelligence nin, professor of the mind, couldn't even help his slightly slow child. I guess both my parents felt they wanted to raise their first child their own way and prove they didn't need any help. Though in the end, they were forced to enlist the help of uncle Mamoru to deal with the mess that was me.

To say I was a weird kid would be an understatement. I was more mature than most kids (Well look, I didn't have much competition really, 4 year olds don't have previous lives on their minds), I was speaking earlier and I was eager to read no matter how much I struggled. Mamoru and Ino were the only people I wanted to hang out with and I found myself introverted like in my previous life. Nevertheless, even with introvert as a best friend, Ino was still one of the most popular people I knew and I never had a shortage of kids to make daisy chains with.

I enjoyed spending time with Mamoru the most. As soon as I could form coherent sentences, I bugged my parents hourly to become a ninja. Sometimes I think they let Mamoru babysit me just so I could be satisfied with hanging out with a fully-fledged Jonin. Mamoru was ecstatic to hear about my career choice and without a shred of guilt began to teach me the basics I would need to get into the academy behind my parents back. He was quickly discovered however, after he helped me become aware of my chakra. Maybe it was because of my previous life lack of awareness, but opening my mind to the chakra in my body was a crazy experience. From as early as I can remember in my uneventful childhood, my uncle would bop me on the nose playfully. As a year or so past, I began to feel tingles on my nose whenever he did it. In fact, I would grab his finger as often as I could and feel the tingles that faded slowly from his finger. Occasionally, I'd concentrate very hard on the tip of my finger and then wack him on the nose back.

 _Do you still like damn your chakra now, huh?!_ I would attempt to say to him. Though really, with the extensive vocabulary I possessed at the time it was more like, "Here! You still like sparks now?" I don't think I was even conjuring any chakra at all, but it still felt good to flail my arms around in his face as revenge.

He would just laugh and ruffle my short hair saying, "Next time Matches, I'm sure you'll get it."

Eventually, that 'next time' came. When I was about three and half, my family was hanging out in our living room. Mum and Mamoru were chatting eagerly and judging from my mother's waggling eyebrows, nudges, elbows and uncle Mamoru's unmistakable blush, they were discussing a lady friend. Dad was rolling on the floor tickling me, or at least I was rolling away from him, trying to get away from the torture of tickling. Seriously, I hated that game. You're not laughing voluntarily and your squeals of distress are mistaken for ones of joy – it's an utterly despicable game. It was like any other day; I was screeching helplessly "NO-NO TICKL-LLES! NO DAAAD! NO TICKLING", and my father was oblivious to my plight. Even as a small child, I was finding my kicks could pack a strong punch if I was upset enough. So when dad leaned in too close, he quickly regretted it when my bunny slipper falcon punched him in the side. His loud and surprised 'oof' had my other two relatives turn to look in curiosity. Nonetheless, it wasn't my strong kick that startled anyone; just the fact I had successfully managed to unconsciously focus chakra into my foot when it made contact with his side. I didn't exactly hurt him, but I winded and stunned him enough to have him fall onto his side. I felt pretty bad about the whole falcon punch with a bunny slipper so I did what any self-respecting toddler would do. I climbed on top of my winded fathers back while he recovered and cried. I mean, that's totally toddler protocol. Maybe.

In a matter of minutes my dad was calming me down while my mum's mother instincts put two and two together and figured Mamoru was somehow involved with my unexpected chakra show. I don't even think she found out how Mamoru had been teaching me, nor did she probably care how. I didn't see my uncle for at least a week after that, but though he seemed slightly traumatised by mothers lecture, continued to sneakily give me hints to become a ninja.  
"Matches, promise me you'll become an awesome ninja as soon as you can, okay? I'm not sure uncle's dignity can take anymore lectures." He'd whine to me like a pouty cat when I finally got to visit him again. I blew a raspberry at him and bopped him on the nose. I don't know if that counts as an affirmative but he got gist of it. Kind of.

* * *

 **Authors Note:** Woot, I'm so glad that whole child development arc is out of the way. I'm so sorry for this one's length, I hope it's not too long for you guys. Seriously, if you guys want shorter or longer chapters just tell me! Again, I am so sorry this took so long to come out. This term of school hit me hard and exams even harder. BUT, I'm back! I go on holidays this week, so I've got way more time than usual. This chapter was actually supposed to be much shorter, but by the time I got to the end I realised I still had some other stuff to finish up so I had to split it. I also got bad writers block in the middle of this so I'm so sorry for its shittiness. "I needn't bother you with most of the mundane details of my development into a child." Proceeds to bore you guys with the details/ i'm sorry  
Again, Thanks so much for reading! The next chapter will (I promise this time haha) be up within the week! Keep being awesome ^^


	4. Chapter 3

**HTSYAL Chapter 3**

One of the requirements for entering the academy was stamina. It was a fair expectation, seeing as missions could have you fighting or running for hours. Still, even with my body revealing itself to be an athletic build, I just couldn't really get into the whole 'let's run multiple laps for fun'. I think the key part was 'fun'; pointlessly draining myself was about as enjoyable as it was in my last life- which was not at all. Reluctantly, I tagged along with Ino's morning runs as often as I could and snuck peeks at the basic taijutsu her father was beginning to teach her. I think her dad just tolerated the awkward spying because I was his niece.

It was a year until we were eligible to enter the Academy and my parents weren't any closer to letting me enrol. Ino was chatting to me excitedly about all the mysterious techniques her dad was going to teach her when she becomes a genin. Leave it to Ino to be looking so far ahead, Masashi didn't do her optimism justice. My mind told me I was being whiny, but the 4 year old brain it was residing in had some pretty compelling arguments about how much my situation sucked. So while my mind and body were separate, it seems my brain and mind were not. My maturity and experience having to constantly fight off my brains childish instincts was like a never ending war. It was like two people trying to drive a car and sometimes I forgot to take back the wheel. Though I suspected it was the existence of my child self that was keeping me from frying all my unprepared brain cells. Ino must have caught on to my sulky mood because as we sat on the swings she frowned at me.

"What's up blowfish?" She asked, slowing her swinging to match my melancholy pace. Immune to her nickname I answered hollowly. Frankly, I felt it was better than billboard brow – but hey, that nickname would get the spotlight soon.

"I wanna be a ninja." Ino snorted and went back to watching the other girls play in the flowers while she swung lazily.

"Then be ninja, dumb-dumb." She said, laughing at my simple answer. I slowed to a stop and looked at the other kids. Ino loved flowers and she was responsible for teaching pretty much all the girls in the village how to make daisy chains. Still, here she was sitting with the sulky allergic kid and listening to me complain. Suddenly, I didn't feel like the grown up one here.

"I can't." I said with a defeated sigh. She skidded to a stop next to me and looked at me questioningly.

"Why not?" I glanced at her but quickly decided to look at the dirt at my feet. Her Yamanaka genes were showing and her eyes had that sharp searching look in them. Trying to keep something from Ino was like fighting Itachi Uchiha – you don't. You do not attempt to fight the Uchiha or the Yamanaka, because _you cannot win_. And hell, you shouldn't want to fight them. Itachi was actually a damn good man underneath those stress lines on his face – and that concerned Yamanaka is your best friend who's complacently listening to your boring complaints.

"Is it because you're allergic to pretty things?" She teased, though her question still hung in her eyes. I grumbled something back half-heartedly. My response had her getting off her swing with a huff and stopping in front of me.

"Hey Ruka." I kicked at the dirt, desperate to not meet her eyes. She shrugged and changed tactics.

"Earth to blowfish."

"Mhm?"

"Why don't you want to be a ninja like your uncle?" She asked casually, patiently awaiting my reaction. She didn't have to wait long as I snapped my head up to correct her.

"I didn't say that! I said I _couldn't_ become a ninja." I grasped frantically at the air trying to pluck the right words out of the sky. She stared inquisitively down at me and I felt the need to lower my head down once more.

"…I don't want you to go on without me. I can help too." I finally relented, looking up at her. Her eyes softened and she sat down on the swing again. She was silent for a while, just staring at the afternoon sky.

Guilt washed over me as I realised that I was bothering a 4 year old with my career problems. There really wasn't anything she could do to help me- even if we were cousins. I was being immature about the whole ninja thing, but I wasn't about to give up. It just didn't sit well with me that decisions about my life were being made for me. Nevertheless, having your parents decide whether to send you to an academy that graduating from is likely to have you killed, or a boring but safe civilian school, isn't exactly strange. I didn't care about where my parents took me for kindergarten in my last life, but my actual young age may have contributed to my lack of care. This time around, I am fully conscious and critical of their decisions. In a way, they were unknowingly caging me in because they naturally thought I wasn't capable of making my own choices. Which rationally, is pretty fair- if you exclude the fact I'm a grown woman (well I was physically in my last life at least) who has an opinion on what life path's she'd like to keep available. Even so, I'm also robbing a perfectly nice couple of the experience of raising a normal child and instead proposing the option of taking on a career that comes with all kinds of fun confidentiality and mortality problems. Family gatherings would be loads of fun;  
'Hey honey, how was work this last week?'  
'It was great mum, I killed someone.'  
'Oh. Why?'  
'Sorry woman that risked her own life pushing me into existence, telling you would compromise the village's confidentiality and I would have to eliminate the witnesses. Oh and happy birthday, for y'know, the last 3 I missed while off recovering a rich woman's cat. Merry Christmas!'  
Yeah, real family goals right there. It was like a slogan to a cheap 80s board game; 'Ninja life, a career choice none of the family can enjoy!'

Nonetheless, my point was that my parents didn't exactly hit the jack pot when they had me. Or well, hit any kind of luck at all. I mean, any other kid probably would have been satisfied with my parent's careful preparing and just happily become a safe civilian like they dreamed. But I wasn't just any kid, in fact, I really just wasn't a kid at all. And to my parents, that's probably the worst thing I could be. My parents weren't bad people, possibly emotionally crippled by PTSD from from their line of work, but good, caring parents that want the best for their child. Sending your kid into a career with a high death rate isn't exactly model parenting. But hey, it's the Naruto Universe, where clan children are conditioned for the battlefield from the moment they are born.

The ninja world really just wasn't some playground that everything magically worked out in. Even if the series seemed light hearted and carefree on the surface, characters still died. Main characters, favourites, supports you never realised you liked until they died and civilians by the mass. Except now, in this life, they weren't just characters to me anymore, and I wasn't just reading a comic to kill some time. Inami and Saito, my _parents_ , could perish in the next war. They could also be the victims of a random stabbing or taken by illness- the cause didn't matter to me all that much. These were more than faces on a page to me, I could feel them, talk to them, love them and even hurt them. Just by being born in this time, I have lost the chance to save people or prevent wars, but I still had _time_. Maybe I couldn't save Gaara from the damage his childhood will scar him with, Sasuke will almost definitely leave the village one way or another and maybe the third Hokage will still die. But I didn't even know if that's what I was supposed to do. Hell, did I even have a purpose? Or was I just some mistake that was actively ripping apart time and space with the paradox of my existence by literally just breathing?

 _I, uh, really hope it's not the latter. 'Paradox' just isn't something I want on my resume._

It still didn't change my perspective though. If I was going to reborn into the Naruto world, then I was going to enjoy it. I didn't have this great illusion of changing the Naruto world; there is only so much things you can change with the status of a normal civilian. If I'm going to ever want to change any course of events, I'm going to need to be in positions of power or trust. If those close to me are going to be safe from unfortunate events relating to the Naruto storyline, then I want to make sure the information I have can actually be used.

"Why can't you?" Ino finally asked. She wasn't looking at me, but I still felt as if every single one of my movements were being noted on.

"It's my parents. They want me to go to a normal school."

"What's wrong with being normal?" she asked, turning to me. I let my eyes grudgingly trail up to meet her inquisitive gaze.

"There's nothing bad about wanting to be normal – I just don't want to be. Besides, the concept of normality is all about perspective, and from say, a ninja clans view; being a ninja is normal." I began to explain but I trailed off when I saw complete confusion cloud over her blue eyes.

 _Dammit brain, 4 year olds aren't exactly comprehensive of complicated philosophical concepts yet. Stop confusing small children._

I mentally face palmed and reassessed my choice of words.

"I want to help people as a ninja. It's not as fun as a normal villager." Her eyes cleared with clarity and she began nodding as if agreeing with a very intelligent statement.

"Yeah, it wouldn't be that fun to be normal. You can't even run a flower or a jewellery or a makeup or a clothes store." Now it was my turn to blink dumbly.

"What? Why can't I?" She looked at me and grinned.

"You can't go near pretty things, remember?" I gasped in mock offense to her comment. Her giggles turned into high pitched cackles as I sucked in some air and blew my cheeks up. I started to chase her around the swings, with my hands to my cheek imitating a perverse blowfish, all the while making raspberries at her.

After Ino's father got over the scene of his daughter laughing like a madwoman while a blowfish chased her around the swing set like a ninja on a mission; I thanked the lord 4 year olds were so easily entertained and went home with new resolve.

* * *

I tottered home at a lazy pace, listening to the small but audible taps of ninjas passing by on the rooftops. They were more noticeable than usual, still not really a nuisance, but it seemed the ninja house hopping rush hour was worse than usual. For a moment I panicked, ninjas only abandon stealth for speed when the mission is urgent enough. Stiffly, I attempted to shrug off the cold stone forming in my gut.

 _Masashi didn't have anything about a crisis in the village while Naruto's generation was still growing up. The third shinobi war was already over, wasn't it? Wait, what shinobi war was this period even up to?_

Not for the first time since being reborn, I mentally roundhouse kicked myself in the face. Imagining said awesome move also helped calm me down. Still, the stone in my gut was jagged and bitingly cold.

 _Masashi created this world. There's no reason for him to leave out a big event that had ninjas in a frenzy right?_

I gulped down the saliva no longer forming in my mouth.

 _Unless it didn't happen in his universe. Unless, something was different this time. Unless, there was something that shouldn't exist._

 _Oh god, what have I done?_

My steps quickened into a jog, sped into a run and hastened in an anxious sprint. My mind was in a disarray and I found myself taking the wrong turns and getting myself lost. I stopped long enough in an open market street for villagers to take notice of my agitated state. The ones that noticed my harsh breathing and watery, panicked eyes, looked around for ninjas. It was only natural, this was a hidden village, a village whose authority lay in ninjas. When something went wrong or looked worth reporting, they stood by the basic survival principle of look toward a higher being for help. It was for nought however, as all the ninjas were either reporting back to the Hokage, or on their way for a night mission – I called this time of evening rush hour for a reason. It would have helped if someone had found the courage to take initiative and pointed me home but I was panicked and border lining nervous wreck so I just raced off when I could feel my legs again.

Thankfully, even if my stamina was still puny, joining in Ino's runs made my mad dashing through the streets possible. It wasn't long before I finally reached familiar areas and I could navigate my way through it. The rush hour had more or less passed and even the unusual amount of traffic had decreased. I allowed myself to breathe but I didn't slow down until I turned the corner onto my home street. A private little residential area with nice houses built for families and no apartments. Rare in such a populated place like Konoha, but it existed nonetheless. It was a perfect place to raise a kid to hide the reality of the world from. Once again kudos to my parent's efforts and points for me for still managing to ruin that. Gods, I'm a real golden kid, aren't I?

Sarcastic thoughts aside, I slowed down to a walk as I took in the features of my house. The front door was wide open and the light from inside was pouring out through the opening. My father stood behind my mother, his height inexplicably looming. My mother Inami was standing in the doors arch way, the golden light bathing her hair and making it sparkle like silk, all the while shadowing the features of her face. The light from the doorway revealed a man in a flak jacket whose lips were just visibly moving. He was speaking quietly and slowly to my parents outside my house and they seemed a world away. I felt like this was a moment I had no right to interrupt so I just stood in the darkness of the growing night, watching as my mother collapsed to her knees. Her shoulders shook but her hands didn't fly to her face to rub away any unseen tears.

Robotically I walked over when the quivering figure of my mother became too much. Closer now, I looked up to the man at our door and was rewarded with a flash of silver from a Konoha head band. It shouldn't have surprised me really, but I still felt the sting of a slap in the face. I looked from my mother's hollow expression to the ninja before me, staring at him almost accusingly. He stared resolutely at nothing and refused to meet my eyes.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed there but none of us were willing to be the first to move. Mum just shook with grief but her eyes only watered torturedly. Dad gripped mum's shoulder tightly, his face lowered and hidden by shadow. I studied the ninjas face. The creases of age, the steely eyes, the hastily pulled back hair and the pained resolution in his eyes. Eventually I felt my dad pull me back into the house and I wearily tore my eyes away from the statue outside our door. My mother picked me up weakly and cradled me in her arms. Her black curls washed over my face and shoulders like a barrier. I watched through layers of her hair as my father quietly said his goodbye and shut the door, sealing us in the bright tomb of our house. It had grown cool from having the door open for so long and we found ourselves frozen once more.

It was my involuntary shiver that broke the ice. My father dropped tiredly into an arm chair and my mother sat on the couch rigidly. I was bustling for questions and I felt them spill over my lip as my mother readjusted me in her arms.

"Who was that? What happened? Was that a real ninja? What happened? What did he say? What did I miss? Aren't you going to say something? What happened? What made everyone so sad? Are you sad? What happened?" My father sighed and put his hands up as if to protect himself from the questions I was throwing at him. He looked at my mother who had her head buried in my shoulder. She wasn't shaking anymore but I felt tears on my sleeve.

"That ninja was here to bring us some…news." My father started, looking immensely uncomfortable. I guess being a psychologist for older ninjas doesn't really teach you how to tell a 4 year old bad news. He avoided my eyes for a time, but determinedly held my gaze once more.

"Uncle Mamoru," suddenly, I could feel the bites of a thousand bullet ants littering my body and I held in a yelp. I didn't, I _couldn't_ hear the next words. I already knew what he was going to say and I could hear my bones rattle in anxiety.

"…He's off – Off on a very long mission." I blinked at his nervous hand gestures.

"And, he won't be coming back for a long time. It's a very long-term mission. _Very_ , very long time." His emphasis on the word long raised more than a few red flags.

"So, you won't be visiting your uncle for a while." He finished and I felt my mother tighten possessively around me. She begun mumbling something into my shoulder and I reflexively hugged her back tighter. She seemed surprised for a moment before she squeezed me back. I laid my head on her neck and her mumbling ceased. My dad came over, sat next to us and put his arms around us. Dad wasn't particularly muscly or even tall, but now, with his arms wrapped around us both, he felt like a titanium fortress, hell-bent on protecting us. All at once, my dad's words sunk in and I wasn't blind to his comforting lies. I didn't mind though, what my parents needed right now was the child they deserved. They didn't need someone who could see through their attempts at protecting their child from the harsh truth – they needed a young daughter, who trusted them and just wanted late evening cuddles. And that was exactly what I resolved to be for them, everything they damned right deserved. Besides, it wasn't out of duty that I cried into my mother's neck or hugged her tightly. Those bullet ants were still on my body, but now reality had them eating away at my heart.

Uncle Mamoru was gone.

 **(AN:  
Okay finally done! Thanks again for reading this and let me know how you thought this chapter went. I'm sorry it's so dark, but the ideas had to be addressed before I could continue. I swear there is a plan to this! I tried to sneak some jokes in, but I felt anymore and it'd be disrespectful to the situation. Also, just to reassure anyone that might have had doubts after reading this chapter, Ruka will become a ninja. Feedback, follows and favourites are appreciated 3)**


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